ChApTerS

i wish i knew why
i wish i knew how

all these questions
lie seering with pain

my body
needs some peaceful slumber
yet my mind succumbs
to hideous thoughts

i looked at you
and i felt a seething emotion
i saw love in your eyes
as i turned away from your smile

or was it?

now i wonder if i might have been fooling myself…
desperately hoping there would be a spark

somewhere
somehow

all i could tell myself now is No.
all i could hear right now is Silence.
all i could feel right now is the throbbing of my heart
tears streaming out on my cheek

is this what you have wanted?
is this the price i must take
for falling inlove with you?

fiddling the keys of my computer
there is nothing else that could describe
what i desire right now

hear me out
that’s most likely what i would shout
if there’s a bottle of beer in my hand

but there is none…

and so is you…

NICA
re-written March 29, 2008
01:57a.m.

the ambience
the sweet scent of mixed perfumes
the aroma of the delicacies
the night’s intricacy

the night was cool…
music’s great
people beaming
everyone in a carefree feeling

reminiscing…

a part of me
seemed left behind
everything i’ve been holding unto
got interlaced with the night’s breeze

re-living…

so sweet…
so nice…

but why?
i feel empty…

damn!

ironic…

there
in the place where everything was almost perfect

i stay shattered.

NICA
Dec. 27,2007

sound tripping to a music that i don’t even hear
reminiscing of the times we have shared
i feel  restless … tired
an oblivion of anxiety
lies awake
awaiting
enigmatic

confounded… by the way you came gliding into my life. 

lost…
lost in translation
ecstatic
  frolicking
looking for a clear picture

blurry…
everything’s jaded

still hanging on…
moving
  circling in the season of the abyss

drinking
venting
tears flowing down
sighing
  thinking

endless possibilities… there’s a lot and yet  they are all
shattering
  push coming to shove
emotions taking over

time…it slowly slips away

life freaking goes on!